I Feel Like We're in the First Two Pages of Supernatural
by KodiakWolfe13
Summary: Jason, Roy, and Kori decide to investigate a supposed haunted cabin outside of their home city, Gotham. When they feel like they're in the first two pages of their favorite book series, Supernatural, what do they do exactly..? "RUN, MOTHERFUCKERS, RUN." (AU; no superheroes; the trio are teens.)(One-shot.)
**Disclaimer: I can only hope I'll be able to think up something half as cool as Red Hood and the Outlaws and Supernatural.**

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The beams of the flashlight filtered through the window, trailing across the walls and floors inside, as well as the furnishings covered in white sheets. The lingering dust floating to and fro slowly in the room seemed to shine in the yellow light, and it covered every surface in thick layers all across the room. Nothing inside the larger-than-average cabin stirred at the invading beams, and Jason took that as a good sign. If there was nothing inside, then that meant there would be nothing that would be able to harm him or either of his two friends, and they wouldn't be caught trespassing either. With this final analysis, Jason stood back up and looked over his shoulder, where both of his friends were lingering at the edge of the tree-line, waiting for the ebony-haired boy to give them either the 'run like hell' or 'all clear' symbol. Jason flagged them down with the 'clear' one and yelled, "We're all good here, guys! You can come on up!"

Even with the dark, Jason could clearly see Roy relax, bathed in blue-white moonlight that cast dark shadows in all directions. Beside him, Kori seemed pleased by Jason's findings, as if she had expected as much from the investigation. Together, the two began hurrying over the small expanse of land that lay between the large cabin and the tree-line. Their flashlights both clicked on to match Jason's, and within seconds, they were on the deck with him, gathered about the front door in a semi-circle. Kori tried the knob, but the door quickly proved to be locked, much to the girl's ire. Turning her head to look at the boys, Kori blew a red strand of hair from her face as she irritably stated, "The stupid thing is locked. Do you guys wanna bust a window or something?"

Roy wasn't particularly perturbed by his almost-girlfriend's statement and simply shrugged in response. "Sure. I'm up for that. How about you, Jason?"

The two red-heads turned their heads in their ebony-haired friend's direction, only to see that his serious face had turned into a devious one. Roy and Kori paled instantaneously, casting each other nervous glances that did not go unnoticed by the smirking teen. Jason motioned for the two to step back from the door, and they complied instantly. Roy, having known the boy longer, thought that may be Jason was just getting on their nerves. For all they knew, the black-haired teen was only going to pick the lock. Actually, that seemed like the only-

Jason kicked the door open with a thundering _BANG_.

Kori jumped at the sudden motion, but Roy shrieked so loudly that Jason slapped his hands over his ears. Roy continued shrieking until Kori, whose expression was twisted into confusion, yelled, "HEY!"

"Why did you do that?!" Roy yelled, gesturing wildly between his best friend since who even knew anymore and the door that was now magically open. That wasn't the end of his loud voice, though. No, he also screamed, "How did you even learn to do that?! Why do you know so much useless shit?!"

Jason, long since fed up with his friend's bumbling, quickly swept up on the other male's side, slapping a hand over Roy's mouth. The action quieted Roy instantly, even calming him, but also angering him at the same time. Narrowed eyes turned to glare at Jason, who was less than pleased as he said, "Ok, first off, _shut up_. Second, the door was dry-rotted; that was not a big deal. Lastly, that little trick will be useful when I finally get into the FBI, will it not?"

Roy mumbled something against Jason's hand. There wasn't a lick of sense to what he said, but the ebony-haired teen only rolled his eyes before stating, "If I told you that, then I'd have to kill you. However, you're still useful to me, so I can't do that."

With that, Jason released his hold from around Roy's mouth, eagerly entering the deserted cabin with a smirk on his face. Not amused with his friend's statement, Roy shook his head and mumbled, " _My God_ , you're a _freak_."

"Says the one with the 'rehab is for quitters' hat." Kori stated, not missing a single beat as she leaned against the door-frame.

From inside the cabin, Jason yelled, "OH, _BURN~!_ "

Instead of feeling offended by his almost-girlfriend's statement, Roy was only horrified as he snatched the precious item from his head. He held it lovingly against his chest, cradling it in a way that was similar to a mother holding her small child. Roy ignored the girl and his snickering best friend as he said, "It's ok, Baby. They don't mean it. They're just into the black humor scene. You understand, don't you?"

Kori rolled her eyes; Jason laughed louder. The girl pushed herself off the wall and began wandering inside the house, smacking Roy upside the head as she passed. Roy tried to hide his amused smile as he continued to coo over his beloved hat, but when Kori snapped for him to get his ass in gear already, the boy finally laughed, calling to his almost-girlfriend that he was coming. After placing the hat atop his head again, Roy waltzed inside the cabin after his friends.

Inside of the cabin, the three teens looked about the strange place, noticing it definitely looked like it belonged to a hunter. There were plagues with animal heads and taxidermy pieces spread all about the dark, damp room, plus an indiscernible animal pelt lying across the ground as a dusty rug. There was a destroyed couch and a fireplace, plus a few tables holding various, miscellaneous items. Other than those few things, however, the front room was rather bare, despite its large size. It seemed to be the same way in the undisturbed kitchen, neat bedroom, and storage room. It was a little confusing as to why the people that had lived here had lived in such a big house if they had no use for all the spare space.

Despite the creepiness lingering about the residence, the three teens were hardly phased with the atmosphere. If anything, they were a little disappointed with the simple layout and even simpler objects inside. When they had heard the story of the hunter's cabin from one of Jason's 'contacts,' it had sounded like it'd be the coolest and scariest place for them to check out. With each teen having about three dozen trespassing charges on each of their records, the normal places they were checking out were starting to become drear and drab.

"So what did that guy have to say about the people that lived here?" Kori asked curiously, frowning at the sheer amount of animals around the room. Her flashlight beams caught the animals' glassy eyes, and they practically seemed to glow, which was probably the creepiest thing they had seen from the house so far. Kori moved away from the animals, choosing to look around the bedroom a second time for anything interesting.

"Well, he didn't say too much." Jason stated, shrugging his shoulders while he rummaged through the contents of the storage room. Roy was behind him, looking through the other shelves. The boy continued, "Just that the hunter who lived here went off to go hunting one day and never came back, leaving one grieving wife behind. Supposedly, people tormented the woman for being unable to repay her husband's ungodly amount of debts, and she hung herself, or something like that. Now, if anyone enters the house, supposedly the ghost of the woman awakens to punish you, as she thinks you're one of her tormentors. I looked online for the story, but there were no results."

"Hm. Sad story." Kori commented, leaning against the door-frame of the storage room as she watched the two boys sort through the shelves lining the walls. Despite her comment, none of the teens seemed to be feeling particularly sorrowful for the woman, but then, they'd heard a lot of sob-stories, most of which ended up all being scams and lies, not to mention their own tough pasts. Thus, it wasn't too much of a surprise.

"Does the supposed ghost have a supposed M.O.?" Roy asked curiously, glancing over his shoulder briefly to look at his ebony-haired friend's back. Jason shook his head, despite not knowing who was looking at him, before stating that his contact hadn't said anything about an M.O. The two red-heads pouted at that, but neither of the two said much else on the subject. Kori, uninterested in what little of the case they had, went on to ask if either boy was proficient in the new lesson in algebra, to which both boys groaned and said no.

The storage room had a lot more objects than any of the teens first realized, they would later conclude. They spent quite a bit of time looking through the contents, even looking at the contents inside of the contents. Kori began to help scan through the objects, finding a few things that might be of interest, just as the boys were doing. Anything that looked even the slightest bit valuable went into a bag hanging from Roy's shoulders.

Unconcerned with the ghost story and possibly getting caught by police, the three teens joked around as they searched. Or, at least, Kori and Jason did. Roy was their main target, as it was so easy to fluster the red-haired boy if they brought up the right subjects at just the right moments. The pair had perfected their timing over the years; thus, their quest to harass Roy was quite an easy one.

Occasionally, though, the trio became the slightest bit spooked. The house had unsettling ways of creaking whenever there was a quiet pause and occasionally, one of the three teens would claim to see something moving out of the corner of their eye. They'd silently freak out for a moment before Jason, being Jason and not handling the concept of fear well, would snap at them all, claiming that the house was simply old, hence the creaking, and they were all sleep-deprived to account for the seeing things, despite that last statement being false. Either way, it shook the trio from their occasional panicked stupors, allowing them to get back to their tasks at hand.

Kori suddenly chuckled after another one of Jason's snaps, earning the other two's attention. They all turned to the center of the room to see each other, their flashlight beams lighting up their faces. Kori said in reply to the boys' questioning gazes, "You know, I just realized that this feels like the first two pages to the Supernatural books. Don't you guys agree?"

At that point, Jason and Roy began grinning and nodding. The trio chuckled under their breaths as they thought about their favorite book series, despite none of them exactly being the definition of bookworms. However, it had enough gore, action, and humor to keep the boys attached and enough fluff and romance to keep Kori intrigued as well. It was unfortunate, though; the books weren't very popular and the author had stopped publishing more books after Dean had died, even though the author could more than likely figure out a way to bring him back. It wouldn't be the first time Dean had escaped death, and it probably wouldn't have been the last, had the author continued publishing.

The chuckles soon died off, however, as they began to realize their situation. Roy, an obvious shake in his voice, commented, "You know, no one in the first two pages ever lives past the third…"

"…what page do you think we're on now?" Jason asked slowly.

Roy bobbed his head about before replying, "I'd say about halfway through the second."

The trio looked between themselves, sharing meaningful glances with the most serious and dreaded of expressions. Their grips on their individual flashlights tightened; their tenseness spread from the tips of their fingers, up their arms, and through the rest of their bodies. They prepared to bolt, but before they could get their legs to respond to their mental commands they…

…began laughing hysterically? What the hell?

The trio's mirth practically shook the walls with its intensity. Within a few minutes, Kori had tears streaming from her eyes, Roy was barely keeping himself standing on his weak knees, and Jason doubled over, laughing so hard that there wasn't any noise coming from his mouth, just a weak wheeze as he clapped like a retarded seal. Their mirth continued until they turned blue and had to stop to gasp for air. By then, none of the teens had anything left, and Kory commented, "I can't believe how freaked we got there over a book series!"

"That was bad, even for us." Roy agreed, nodding his head as Jason chuckled breathlessly and used his ginger-haired friend as a leaning post. Roy, though he usually would've knocked Jason to the ground by now, only patted the other boy's head good-naturedly.

Kory, Roy, and Jason calmed down even further, allowing the amusement to wash away completely. Still, a smile lingered on Jason's face as he commented, "We should probably-"

 _Cr-r-r-reak-k-k-k…_

Kory and Roy were already out the door before whatever it was had even finished creaking, shrieks emitting from both of their mouths as Jason hurriedly raced behind them, screaming, "RUN, MOTHERFUCKERS, _RUN!_ "

The trio stampeded down the road they had come from, Roy shrieking the entire way while Kori and Jason smartly saved their breaths, except for the occasional screech as they stumbled over their feet or something lying on the dirt road. They continued trampling their way back in the direction of the main road that would lead them far, _far_ away from the cabin behind them that was surely haunted by psychotic, killer ghost women!

As they rounded the corner, Jason, running significantly faster than the other two 'motherfuckers,' nearly crumbled to the ground as a pair of bright-as-the-sun headlights blinded him. Being blinded by said headlights, Jason didn't have enough time to stop his momentum before he slammed into the hood of the car and then toppled to the ground. Behind him, the red-heads yelled their friend's name as they came up behind him, quickly bringing Jason to his feet as he said, "I'm ok! I'm ok, but did anyone get the number of the bulldozer that hit me?"

Neither Kory nor Roy had any time to answer before two men exited from both sides of the car- a black, '67 Chevy Impala Jason would've undoubtedly drooled over, if it weren't for the fact he was still seeing stars. The two men, both tall but one still significantly shorter than the other, quickly rushed up beside the trio of teens, helping to steady Jason as he slowly worked his way out of the daze he had inadvertently put himself in.

"Oh my gosh, are you guys ok? We heard you all screaming from a half a mile back." The taller of the two asked with concern, looking between the two red-heads and the groaning Jason. One hand lay on the ebony-haired boy's shoulder while Kory and Roy continued to support him from behind.

Despite the two knowing that men on an abandoned dirt road typically wanted your money, other valuable belongs, your life, your innocence, or all four- all four seemed to happen a lot in Gotham City –Kory and Roy still found themselves immediately trusting the man with the long, luscious hair (not so much the gruff looking one he was with, but eh; they weren't being picky when it came to saviors). Kory immediately responded to the tall man, "Well, there's an old house back there, and we thought we heard something. It freaked us out, so we ran."

Even if they did irrationally trust these men, there was still no way in hell they were going to tell them that they were chased away by a supposed ghost.

"That was a good idea; you never know who or what might be out here this far from the city, especially Gotham." The shorter of the two stated, nodding his head at the three as Jason finally brushed his two friends off, standing on his own. Everyone discarded the fact the two men with the gorgeous car could be considered the unknown who or what that hid outside of Gotham without question. The gruff man continued, saying, "Alright guys, my name's Dean. This is my brother Sam. Black-haired kid, you hit yourself pretty hard on the car, and we're pretty far outside of the city. I know you just met us, but is it ok if we took you and your friends home?"

"Um, yeah, sure. We can go to my house. I live-" Jason started before he paused. Behind him, Kory and Roy had gone deathly still as well. The trio shared another one of their long, meaningful looks, asking themselves if they were hearing things correctly. It put 'Sam' and 'Dean' on edge, and they glanced at each other confusedly. Jason, however, ignored it as he asked, "What did you say your names were again?"

"Um… I'm Sam." The taller man stated, repeating his brother's earlier comment with an obvious look of confusion.

The shorter man bluntly stated, "Dean."

More looks were passed between the small group of teens as they had a silent conversation, a skill that had taken years to adapt to and would take even more time to perfect. However, they were fluent enough in "look-speak" to understand the plan all of them had thought up as one.

Once again, the trio bolted, racing past the two supposed brothers faster than either man could say 'what the hell?' The red-headed boy started shrieking his head off, nearly blowing his voice out with his intensity. The girl, the men saw, corrected her male friends when they tried to go down the wrong fork in the road, obviously groaning at their stupidity but unable to tell them how much she hated them through her panic. Soon enough, the trio was out of sight, but not out of ear-shot. Sam and Dean were left to ponder Roy's shrieking and Jason's parting words of, "I'm gonna hunt you bastards down, and I'm-a sue your sorry asses."

There was a very long pause where the two men merely watched the horizon the trio disappeared at. Their faces were morphed into confusion and shock, and the only other time they had looked so lost was when a little girl had wished her teddy bear to life.

Dean looked at his brother and asked, "What just happened?"

Sam, for once in his sad, nerdy life, had no answer.

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 **This is just another purposeless, humorous one-shot Kinzy inspired me to do, as always. That girl is full of thinking wonders. XD**


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